So, Randy and I talked in January 2010 about having another baby. At the time, I would have been ok just having Talan. I couldn't imagine trying to share time with another baby. After realizing the amazing relationships I have with my sisters and the one between Randy and Troy, I decided that Randy was right. We decided to start trying in July so if we got pregnant the baby would be due after tax season this time. I knew right away in August that we were going to be expecting another baby. We talked to Talan about it and have included him in everything baby. I don't want him for one second to think that he isn't important or that he is being pushed aside for someone else. I remember the first sonogram we had. Someone had been coaching Talan to say that he wanted a baby sister. I had a feeling going into it that we would have a girl, but needed confirmation. So, as we were at the dr.'s office, the sonographer said she was pretty sure it was a girl and Talan said "mommy she looks like a monster!" I could not stop laughing. I kept thinking this probably won't be the last time he calls her a monster. Then he decided he wanted to have a brother. We told him that his wish had come true and we were having a girl. I already had names picked out for whichever way this ended up. We were going to meet Kendall Breanne very soon.
This pregnancy has been quite different from Talan. I was sick most of the first trimester. The second trimester was a little better. I had a bit more energy and tried to work as much as I could. The third trimester has just been long and drawn out. Although I know Randy would have more kids, I feel like 2 is enough for me. So, you would think knowing that you will never be pregnant again, you would cherish these times. The only thing I will miss about being pregnant is feeling the kicks and turns that wonderful creation makes. It's something no one else can really appreciate until they are pregnant themselves.
During my maternity leave, I have had a lot of time to think about how different my life is about to be. Will I be able to love Kendall as much as I love Talan? Everyone tells me yes. Will I be able to handle two babies needing my attention? I feel like I am a pretty good multitasker. Different sleep schedules, eating times, diapers (again), and who washes all the clothes for that extra person??? As our time to meeting Kendall gets closer, I feel a bit anxious and nervous.
As Mother's Day approaches I feel like I have an exceptional role model. I don't know how my mom had 4 kids, girls at that! She says that she missed us being babies, how we needed her, and that's why she kept having babies. I know that feeling already. Talan tells me all the time "Momma, I do it all by myself." I feel glad that he is trying to grow up, but I don't want him to not need me. I am 32 years old and I just want my mom to know that I still need her. I need to talk to you to tell you how my life is going. I need your advice and guidance. I need your approval and love. I need to know you are ok. I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you do and have ever done for me. I hope I can be the Mom to my kids that you were to us.